


Damnation or Salvation

by starsinjars



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BlackIce, Frostcest - Freeform, M/M, selfcest, what if
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-23
Updated: 2014-11-07
Packaged: 2017-11-26 15:01:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/651601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsinjars/pseuds/starsinjars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In order to save everyone, Jack decides to give the only thing to Pitch he could offer – himself.  And maybe, somehow, Jack can find the man that Pitch used to be and save him before he falls down with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Equivalent Exchange

**Author's Note:**

> And I still don't really understand how AO3 works... Too used to ffnet I suppose.
> 
> Someone came up with this over examination of the scene just before Jamie stepped up to answer the question the fic starts off with on tumblr and basically it was a Jack giving himself up idea. And I went with it. Don’t know if this has already been done but I wanted to write it so I’m sorry but not really.

“Aww, you’ll protect them. But who will protect you?” 

As much as he loathed the man, as much as he wanted to wipe that ugly sneer off of his face, as much as he wanted to freeze the sand waves into the frozen waves he often froze when at the beach, Jack thought about his question.

 _Who?_ Jack thought, looking back at North barely managing to stand, Tooth on her two feet on the asphalt road, Bunny being six inches instead of feet tall, and all of the children looking at the incoming sand with a great fear in their eyes. They were trying to hide it, but Jack can see it through and through – meaning that Pitch could see it too. Even he himself, he was no longer strong enough to hold the Nightmare King off – falling from the sky and into that green dumpster was proof of that. 

_No one._ No one can protect the Guardians. Their strength was rapidly fading, and even with a handful of believers it wouldn't be enough. Even if Jack wasn’t technically a Guardian yet (officially, he knew that everyone would argue for his Guardianship. He wasn’t so sure about Bunny though.), Pitch was so much stronger than he. It was too late. They were done for. But it was okay, Jack didn’t mind – so long as Jamie, their last believer, his first believer, was safe from the man’s darkness.

He took a quick glance at the rest of the Guardians, the ones he was starting to warm up to and even see them as a band of friends that could have been a family at some point, before ending up at the one that this was all for. At Jamie - taking note of his quivering lip, at the boy who was trembling but standing up strong. Jack smiled, and knew that his mind was set.

And for that, Jack was willing to do anything to protect that. And he meant _anything._

“North,” he muttered as quietly as he could, as Jamie was right next to him and he didn’t want the child to hear him. “Whatever you’re about to see, please just go with it.”

“What?” North whispered back, tone sounding alarmed and confused. “What do you mean? Jack, what are you thinking?”

But Jack didn’t want the man to talk him out of it, out of this plan that may just save everyone’s lives. Steadying his posture he looked straight into Pitch’s golden eyes – missing Jamie’s foot about to step forward. He took a breath to gather up his wits and everyone turned to him. As he began to speak, Jamie stood back and kept silent. 

“We may not be able to protect them from your onslaught of black sand,” he said slowly, struggling to come up with the proper words. “But please, spare them -“ He gestured to the people – to the children, to the other Guardians – behind him. “- from the horrors your nightmares could bring to them.”

Before North could further question what Jack thought pleading would do, before Jamie could step forward to try and protect the expression that wasn’t actually an expression but someone on par with Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, before Tooth or Bunny could step forward to add their own thoughts to the situation, Pitch began to laugh, like Jack told him a very amusing joke. But it was a harsh laugher, and everyone winced from the sound of it.

“Now why -” Everyone flinched as Pitch materialized in front of the group, right in front of Jack but the Winter Spirit kept his ground. “- would I want to do _that_?”

Jack didn’t falter for a moment. Staring straight into Pitch’s eyes, he swiftly replied, “Because if you do, I’ll take up your offer from earlier. I’ll join you.”

Everyone froze, shocked into silence as they looked at Jack, ignoring Pitch completely. It took them a few seconds to recover before the Guardians began to start their protests.

“Jack -” North started.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Bunny cut him off.

“You don’t have to do this…” Tooth whispered.

Jack carelessly shrugged his shoulders, ignoring any pleas that there must be another way – but Jack knew there was only one thing that would appeal to Pitch.

Himself. 

“I do have to do this,” he said, still keeping eye contact with the one who held all the cards in his hands save for one. The question was: how much did he want this final card?

There was a deathly silence in the air for about two seconds before Pitch smiled a miniscule smile. “Interesting,” he said, taking Jack by the hand and was about to pull him forward, closer to the shadows, before Jack felt a tug at his other free hand.

It was Jamie. 

“Jack, no…” he whispered, fright apparent in his eyes, but bravery trying to overtake it - and it was just about to win. “Let my friends, let me - ”

Jack shook his head as he removed himself from the child’s hold as gently as he could, having to lose the sight of honey orbs as he turned and looked on chocolate ones instead. 

“I just want for you to be safe,” Jack murmured, taking a quick glance at all the others he was saving as well as Jamie. “And I’m willing to do whatever it takes in order to save not only you, but everyone else.” Jack closed his eyes as he turned back to Pitch before opening them to look into those golden eyes.

Pitch kept his eyes on Jack as he circled around him, the unofficial Guardian keeping his head straight and not following him as the tendrils of darkness from the cloak tickled his body; Jack even felt some traces of grainy black sand in the air but all he really wanted was to focus on was the task at hand – on trying to make Pitch change his mind and take this exchange.

“You think that by sacrificing yourself you’ll be able to save them?” Pitch laughed, amused. “You think that you’re worth _that_ much to me?”

Jack refused to back down. “I do, Pitch.” He looked down and bit his lip before looking back up. “I am the only one who still understands you, am the only one who could be your equal, the only one who could be your _family_.”

Pitch paused for a spilt second, and Jack hoped that he was finally getting somewhere. 

“I’ll go with you willingly; I’ll follow your rules to the best of my ability; I’ll do anything,” he swore, now turning to keep eye contact with the man. “Just, please, don’t hurt them,” Jack begged, and Pitch grinned wickedly.

“Very well, Jack.” He snapped his fingers and the black sand and Nightmares receded. “In exchange for your eternal servitude, I shall take up on your offer.”

Jack just dumbly nodded, surprised that his plan worked. “Thank you,” he said, light-headed. “You’ve got yourself a deal.” 

Pitch smiled, greatly pleased. “Yes we do. I have much re-planning to do now, to keep my end of the bargain, but only for now. I will spare the last light, but I will get my revenge on the Guardians. Nothing can change that.”

“Don’t you ever hurt Jamie,” Jack suddenly demanded, head clearing up enough to clear the terms of agreement. “Or his friends.”

“It’s the last light or nothing; take it or leave it. I’m already prolonging the destruction of the Guardians by letting him continue his belief and, let’s not forget, Jack, that I don’t _have_ to do this.”

Jack clenched his staff, looking down and squeezing his eyes shut. “Give them time, the rest of their childhood, please.”

Pitch came face to face to Jack, and he couldn’t help but wince as Pitch took hold of his chin and made him look up to meet those golden, hypnotic eyes. “Is that what you really want, Jack?”

Without hesitation, “Yes,” he whispered, a tear leaking out.

“Very well.” Pitch released him and used his free hand to create a tiny ball made entirely of black sand. He placed it in Jack’s hand, the one that Jamie was previously holding on to and took his staff. “Eat this, and you have yourself a deal.” 

“Jack, _please_ ,” It was Tooth, finally able to break through the grainy sand in the air but still unable to move. “You don’t have to do this. We can defeat Pitch; I know we can! So don’t do this…”

Yells of the other children as well as from Bunny and North were beginning to act up, but Jack just stared on the ball of sand in his hand, it feeling extremely hollow and swirling a black shadow within - seemingly alive.

Pitch raised his hand, effectively shutting everyone up. He turned to Jack. “As soon as you swallow that, we will leave and this whole thing would be nothing but a bad dream.”

“A bad dream…” Jack lifted his hand to his mouth.

“Jack, please,” Jamie begged, causing for Jack to pause as the child stepped forward again to grab Jack’s sleeve, searching for his hand. “I just started believing in you; I don’t want…” 

Jack smiled, clenching the sand ball in his hand as he knelt down to Jamie. He pat him on the head. “Don’t worry, kiddo, I’ll be fine.” It was hard to keep the trembling from his voice but he somehow managed. As scared as he was, he didn’t want to show it to the people he was going to save, to anyone.

Because as long as they were safe, Jack wouldn't mind doing whatever Pitch planned for him. As long as everyone was safe. 

“But, what if…” Jamie looked up, tears in his eyes. “What if -”

Jack couldn't hear this; he could just feel his resolve cracking. “Hey, what did I say? I’ll be fine; don’t worry.” Jack placed his forehead on Jamie’s and let it rest there for a few moments. Jamie’s forehead felt so warm against his own, it only served to remind Jack just how badly he needed to do this. 

He whispered, “Just don’t ever stop believing, Jamie, okay?”

Then without letting anyone say anything else, before he could actually think about the long-term consequences for what he was doing, Jack got up, took a step back from everyone save Pitch, and swallowed the hollow ball made of nightmare sand.

Jack could feel his insides churning in pain as his body contorted and twisted in various directions. He couldn’t help but scream as he collapsed, barely even able to keep his eyes open as he kept on trembling. He caught the terrified looks in everyone’s faces but he couldn’t really focus on them at the moment as something attacked at his heart. He felt something being eating away, something eating away at him.

Jack didn’t know for how long, but eventually the pain began to fade. It felt like an eternity but it must have been a few seconds, for as soon as everyone tried to step forward, it stopped. His screaming went away with it and Jack could feel himself starting to slip as he felt himself be gently lifted up from the street, sight becoming blurry. He was repositioned in a way that felt he was being carried how Jack often saw a princess or bride would be. He let his head rest on the person’s chest as he closed his eyes, steadily taking even breaths as he passed out. 

Pitch steadied the unconscious boy in his arms as he turned away from the Guardians, away from the children, and was about to leave though his shadows when the silence was broken.

“Pitch.” North’s mouth sounded dry. “What have you done?”

Pitch merely looked back, sneering at them. “That’s for me to know and for you to find out. Good day to you, Guardians. I’ll be back, and I’ll have a Frost Prince right by my side.”

Then without allowing for anyone to reply, Pitch stepped into the shadows, taking away the black sand, taking away all the Nightmares and, most importantly of all, taking Jack Frost with him.


	2. Psychological Warfare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh...
> 
> Previously, in _Equivalent Exchange_ , Jack surrendered himself to Pitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously how the hell does this website work wtf.
> 
> Anyway, woah! Thank you all for the kudos (I can't see all your names), and DeeJay Gomie, TheGoldenAppleofAsgard, KellyJoy, ButtonMadder, Kel, Rahar_Moonfire, widowing_powder, and aceDetective for your comments!

His name is Jack Frost.

It was the only words that the Man in the Moon had ever said to him by the moonbeams for his entire existence. To be Jack Frost was the only thing he knew. That is, until he saw his human memories thanks to Baby Tooth.

But humanity was so fragile, so fleeting, that Jack wondered how long it would take for him to forget it once again. Adding to that, Jack wondered if the Man in the Moon knew how much Jack had repressed throughout his Immortal existence.

His power was in the Frost aspect of his name. Everything he touched turned to ice; he tended to decorate the world with his fern-pattered frost and it snowed wherever he danced. The cold never affected him, only working as a source of comfort to the immortal teen.

But the first thing he noticed was the chilling cold. It was so unexpected, so strange; the feeling was almost so foreign to him that at first he did not recognize it. It was to the cold that he had awakened. He slowly fluttered his eyes open to faint awareness to find himself lying down in the fallen snow, his arms and legs curled into a ball.

The awakening temperature was so cold to Jack that it was unbearable, that he was unable to move out of the position that he had waken up in.

That was another thing. Jack was not in pain, but something deep inside of him hurt, and this aching feeling made it even harder for him to move. 

Jack tried his best to even his breathing as he blinked away the snowflakes caught on his eyelashes while licking away the icy snow off of his dry lips. His breaths came out in puffs of smoke, and his now even breathing was the only sound in the desolate icy land of falling snow.

He closed his eyes and shivered, shocked at the motion as he reflexively curled in closer to himself. One stray thought of his was wondering just why he was so _cold_ , but they were more of...nothingness. Almost as if he didn't mind freezing there in the snow for the rest of time, as if doing so would take off a huge weight off of his shoulders and he would so be able to finally embrace something he didn't even remember. 

There was a sound of crunching footsteps tainting pure, untouched snow.

"Oh, hey! I've been looking for you everywhere. Awake yet?"

Jack knew this voice. The (seductive?) tenor voice was so familiar and yet it was so distorted, twisted in a sense that sent a chill down his spine. And not in the cold aspect of it. Jack's heart dropped and he clenched his eyes shut, trying to pretend he was still asleep.

He didn't know if he wanted to admit it, but he was scared to discover the owner of the voice. 

The figure bent down to him, and Jack was sure he was shivering - but this time from fear rather than cold. The figure was silent for a few moments before his words filled the air. "Hmm? Well, I suppose at least Overland didn't find you first. Come on then; you really don't think you can lie there forever do you?"

Jack didn't answer, clutching his shoulders and tucking himself inward as much as he possibly could. His aching chest felt hollow.

“I would invite you to be your guest, but that would defeat the purpose of so many things.”

When Jack continued to remain silent, the man sighed.

"It was only one; you can't tell me you were _that_ pure-hearted. Not even he was.” A pause. “I guess he just knows how to pick 'em." He chuckled, pulling back just a tad before moving closer. "Not that it matters anymore."

Jack processed the words the familiar voice said as the aching feeling in his chest began to increase. He? Who was he talking about?

"Oh, Jack, I don't think you’ve realized exactly what you were doing when you gave yourself away. You held the final ace and you so easily discarded it." He knelt down to Jack, who winced. Brushing away some of his hair, he placed his warm (oh so warm it was burning to touch) lips on his ear and whispered, "I know everything about you. You can't hide anything from me. And soon enough, you'll have to acknowledge me. After all..."

The figure grabbed Jack's shoulders to pull him up, and there was an intense heat that flashed through Jack’s body. He let out a gasp as the ice was flushed away from his core, exchanged with fire and his eyes flared open. 

_Nonononono..._

All of the colors were wrong - Jack had freshly fallen snow hair while his reflection had twilight black. Jack had a midnight blue hoodie while the Other had black to match his hair. While frost decorated his collar, sleeves, tips of his hood, and the edges of his pockets, a mix of golden and black sand decorated his. Blue sapphire eyes were looking into purple amethyst sprinkled with gold dust, as Jack stared at the person who was exactly like him, and yet wasn't him at the same time.

It was his own warped voice he was listening to.

The Other Jack laughed, a macabre sound that sounded like it was Jack’s _own_ amused laughter, just so grotesque it sickened Jack that it was possible for him to sound that way. He assumed that this nightmarish version of himself was supposedly bemused at whatever expression Jack was sporting from staring at his mirrored reflection - which he was sure was of absolute terror and horror. 

The Other Jack ran his fingers along Jack’s frozen body, replacing the cold with a burning heat sensation with the gentle caresses. Fingers traveled from his shoulders into his chest and Jack was so focused on the warm tips going lower and lower, he was completely caught by surprise when the Other Jack pulled him in for a quick kiss on his parted icy lips, the fire going straight into Jack’s burning, aching chest and shoving something vile deep inside him that Jack desperately wanted to claw out before it made its home there, within him, within his heart and _center_. 

But he knew he couldn't, now that it was starting to fill and take away the hollowness in his heart. 

He was just in so much pain that he almost missed the words his twisted self whispered into his ear.

“I’m _you_.”

0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0

It was hot. It was much too hot. 

Jack shoved away the paper-thin sheet from his body, panting as he hugged himself in an attempt to bring back familiar cold.

His eyes were shut closed in concentration as his fingers pulsed with his frost magic, willing for it to spread as fast as possible to flush away the burning warmth, especially in his chest. He rubbed his arms, tempted to strip himself of his hoodie.

Something was burning, something deep inside of him, and he needed to cool it as soon as possible or else he would melt.

His magic not working fast as he would have liked, he decided to strip off his hoodie - he didn't see what color it was, nor did he want to know - and flung it across the dark room in a random direction. He hugged himself as tight as he could, willing for his magic to course through his veins and bring back the cold he so desperately craved.

A powerful burst of cold rushed through him and washed away the heat as he opened his eyes, watching his frosted fern patterns decorate the room, it glowing with an ethereal glow and bringing a dim light to the otherwise dark room.

Jack panted heavily, clutching the sheet in his hand tightly as he fumbled around, feeling for his sweater. Scolding himself for tossing it carelessly, after a few moments his fingers brushed against something soft and of satin. A twinge of pain flashed through his chest and he winced, retracting his hand and retreating into the bed, the room having lost its little light from his frost.

"Finally awake, are we?" an amused disembodied voice called from the darkness, and Jack stared at where he believed it was coming from. It took a few moments for his head to clear and recognize the speaker.

"Pitch," he breathed; a puff of smoke came with the name. His throat and mouth were dry, and he was feeling a tad dizzy and disoriented after waking up with such a sweat. He didn't really feel like he was in a proper state of mind, but what he did know was that he didn't want to fall back asleep. Everything was hazy, fuzzy, but he was aware - to a degree. He wanted to remain conscious for as long as possible.

"What happened? All I remember was..." He trailed off, not exactly remembering what happened. He remembered that he ate a ball of black sand to save Jamie and his friends from the man's Nightmares, but everything had been hazy after that. There was a burning sensation in his chest, but it has faded away to a tingling sensation by now.

Pitch said nothing, but revealed himself from the shadows that covered the room by sitting on the bed, causing it to dip slightly down. Jack stared at the man, wanting some answers. "Say something," he demanded, needing to hear something save his own voice, needing some answers.

Jack was severely confused when Pitch pulled in him for a one-armed hug. He stiffened, lost on what to do but managed to squeak, "W-what are you doing?"

There was a silence that lasted for a few moments as Pitch rested his head on Jack's mop of hair, inhaling his scent. Jack shivered at the gesture, like spiders were crawling up his spine.

"You've been asleep for a few days," was the first thing the Nightmare King said.

That snapped Jack into attention.

"Days!? How many days?" Jack exclaimed, jerking and trying to remove himself from the hold but wasn't quite successful. If anything, to stop his struggling, Pitch was now using two arms in the embrace and Jack was now sitting in his lap. But that wasn't really important right now. He looked up at the man whose eyes were closed with a confused look, lost. 

_What...happened?_

"Shhh," Pitch whispered into Jack's ear, patting his head and hugging him tighter. "Just be quiet."

As much as Jack wanted to argue, he was too confused from the tender gesture. Besides, he does remember giving Pitch his word to do whatever he commanded. It would probably be in his best interest to just keep silent.

He lay still for a few moments longer as Pitch continued to squeeze him against his own body, running his fingers through his soft snow hair and murmuring words too low for Jack to hear. It sounded like utter nonsense from what he could hear.

Jack's chest began to burn again, causing for him to wince. That finally got a reaction from the man as he pulled back slightly, but continued to keep Jack on his lap, still hugging him. "Not much has happened during your rest, Jack. I have fulfilled my end of the bargain, and pulled back all of my nightmares and left your pathetic friends alone."

"They're not pathetic!" Jack couldn't help but let out that protesting outburst. He didn't mean to voice his disagreement, but he couldn't just stay quiet. Not for disregarding something important to him and even degrading it with an insult. "Even if your power has spread throughout the world, as long as there is at least one believer, you'll never win.” Jack smiled triumphantly. All he had to do was wait for the rest of the Guardians to regroup and he was sure they would save him. All he had to do was bide his time.

Jack didn't expect for Pitch to grin with a smile that spoke of his amusement for Jack to cling to his firm beliefs. "You're right. As long as little Jamie believes, I can't truly get rid of the Guardians. But nothing can stop time, and eventually Jamie will stop believing. It's called growing up, Jack. You're probably not familiar with the term."

Jack shook his head, mind firm on this aspect. "No, Jamie will never stop believing. Even if he grows up, he'll always remember us." He didn't have any doubts about that. Jamie was always a skeptic, and he was sure that the other Guardians would protect him.

They…had so few believers now… But a few were better than nothing, right? Perhaps Jack should have bargained for more from his end of the deal.

Instead of the backlash Jack expected, Pitch merely chuckled. "Keep telling yourself that," he said as he rose from the bed, Jack sliding off his lap and back onto the dark sheets. "Come. We have much to do now that you have awakened. We need to set some rules and guidelines, and you need to be tested."

"Tested? For what?" Jack inquired, confused and curious what was in store for him.

What has he gotten himself into?

"And I think you may want this." Pitch didn't answer the question, but tossed something at Jack, who caught it easily.

"What…" Jack was familiar with this fabric. He widened his eyes and his face burned, this time of embarrassment as he quickly shoved his hoodie down his head to cover his previously naked chest. At least his body temperature was at its usual low self that it didn't matter if he put it back on - it was more of a sense of modesty. The fact that it was Pitch touching him just caused for shivers to crawl up Jack's spine and that quickly took away the blush.

And he was hugging him, and sitting on his lap…

_Don't think about it._ There are some things that weren't safe to think about. At least not until later, when he could actually think everything through.

Jack moved to climb out of the large bed and quickly followed after the man. Magic still tingling from his outburst, his feet created ice as he walked.

He still couldn’t see the color of his hoodie.

0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0

Jack has been in Pitch’s lair before - during that short fall from grace that cost Bunny more than Jack himself - but he never realized just how dark it really was. Perhaps it was because he was in an area he had never been in before, but even the glow of his frost displayed nothing. It was deathly silent, a deafening silence that Jack felt like he was suffocating in it. He just kept his eyes closed since he didn’t want to imagine something that wasn’t even there. It was a trick that Jack had recently remembered telling his sister when she would go to bed, scared of the dark.

He kept walking into walls, having lost Pitch to the shadows, and was only continuing down the corridor with his hands to the walls for guidance. His thoughts were still slightly fuzzy, a bit sticky from whatever reverie he woke from.

Another chuckle surrounding him made Jack jump, and he was about to trip over himself if a hand hadn’t grabbed his wrist and pulled him back to his feet. He gasped; pebbles were pushed forward and Jack heard them echo as they fell down a great chasm, demonstrating what would have happened to the Frost Spirit had he continued on his way.

“Honestly, Jack, you need to learn to embrace the darkness,” Pitch whispered in his ear, making Jack tense as he looked up to those golden eyes that glowed in the shadows. “It will soon be your greatest ally as it is mine.”

Jack widened his eyes, not particularly liking his words. “What do you mean?”

“Cease your trembling and follow me.” Pitch released his wrist and began walking again, and Jack hurried to his side, not wanting to get lost.

Jack didn't even realize he was trembling.

Walking behind him, Jack stared at the man, who didn’t give him another glance as he was lead back deeper into the darkness, his frost no longer glowing and sprouting from his feet.

“Could you possibly tell me what’s going on?” Jack asked, seriously wanting some answers and his mind finally cleared enough to actually think coherently to a degree. 

“Patience, Jack. All will be revealed in due time. Now stand here and wait for a moment.”

Jack hadn’t realized that Pitch had led him into a room, a small beam of sunlight creeping down from a high crack from the earth’s surface. The room was still completely dark save for the beam of light. Hesitantly, Jack stepped forward, wanting to feel the bright light on his icy skin.

Then he noticed a familiar piece of wood, just hiding on the tips of the light. Surprised but not wasting the opportunity, he swiftly reached out and grabbed it with the tips of his fingers, clutching it close to his person. 

Pitch laughed, but Jack ignored him in favor for his staff. He held it close to his person, vowing to never lose it as long as he could help it.

"Now, Jack, although you claimed to do as I command, I can't exactly trust your words." He sounded distant, not able to approach the light as the other could. Jack unconsciously shied away, unknowingly backing closer to the shadows.

"…A deal's a deal," Jack replied, mind churning at the idea of doing the man's dirty work. He fumbled around with his staff, making sure that nothing had happened to it.

Pitch's next words made Jack freeze in place. "I want you to make a choice."

Words sinking in, Jack looked at where he believed the voice was coming from. He stared, looking around and following those golden eyes. "A…a choice?"

Pitch materialized in front of the immortal teen, taking hold of his chin. Trapping Jack in those golden eyes. "It _was_ your choice was it not? To join me?"

It took far too long for Jack to remove himself from the man's grip. "…But of course," he begrudgingly replied, biting his lip.

"That slight hesitation and tone tells me otherwise." Pitch shrugged, not sounding like he particularly cared. That is, until he placed his hand on the top of Jack's staff. He squeezed it tightly, and Jack could feel it about to splinter.

He widened his eyes, not wanting to go through the pain as before when he snapped it in half at Antarctica. "Don't!" he exclaimed, trying to shake the man off but Pitch's hold was much stronger than his own.

After a few moments, Pitch finally let go, making Jack jump with the amount of force he had put into trying to regain control. The Nightmare King laughed, amused. "Don't worry, Jack. Again, this is a test. It wouldn't be fair for me to break one of your little toys."

Jack stilled, looking at the man suspiciously. Ignoring the toy comment, he pressed, "What exactly do you have in mind?"

"As I said, Jack. You have to make a choice." He gestured to the crack in the ceiling. "Would you like to leave?"

The question threw him off. Jack looked to Pitch, looked back up to the ceiling, back to Pitch and then frowned, peeved at the teasing. "...This has to be a trick question. Of course I can't go outside - you don't want me to."

"This isn't about me, Jack. This is about you. You and your choice." Pitch circled around him from the safety of his shadows. "Your choice. It all goes down to your choice to be here or not." The light started to change colors, dimming from a soft yellow to a mellow orange before a dying red. "The sun is currently setting. If you would like to leave, you must do so before the sun sets and the moon breaks."

"...You're joking."

"You're losing time."

"..." Jack weighed his options. Pitch looked so...bored, his eyes gleaming with amusement as his poker face held strong. "There must be a catch," Jack said, staring up at the light. If he really could leave...

The Spirit of Winter stared longingly at the setting sun, watching it slowly make its descent as it always did. He always watched the sun set, but usually from a high tree branch, or even a tall building. Never below the surface. 

Pitch spoke once more, stirring Jack from his thoughts. "No catch, Jack," he reminded, tone carefree. "It's your choice to stay or to leave. But you better hurry...time's running out..." 

There was no question. Jack didn't want to be here. Of course he didn't want to be here. Why would he? Pitch knew it, but would he really let him go so easily?

With his staff at hand, Jack was ready to leave. The wind was at his call, and he tensed as it brushed him upwards, wanting him back on the surface world. He longed to feel the soft earth underneath his toes, not this hard stone. 

"It's now or never, Jack..."

Jack actually let himself jump about six feet off of the ground, reaching out his hand high towards the bright, dying light before retracting his fingers and his hand back. He jerked, forcing himself to float back down, back to the hard floor, and back to the darkness as the sun finally set, encasing the two in total darkness. 

Jack would glare, but he didn’t have a target. He laced his tone with malice. "Don't tease me like that. It is my choice to be here, but that doesn't mean I want to be."

A wicked grin appeared before him. “Right answer.” Jack felt a hand grab his shoulder and push him face first into the darkness.

Jack instinctively closed his eyes, covering his face with his hands and staff as he prepared himself to collide with the ground. When that didn’t happen as soon as he expected, he opened his eyes to find himself freefalling into the unknown.

Shadows enveloped his body, Pitch taking hold of his arms and into a loose embrace but Jack didn't notice, eyes searching for any source of light save those haunting golden eyes. Pitch made no motions to take his staff, instead smirking at the terror shown on the Guardian to-be's face.

He couldn’t help it. Jack screamed as horrible visions and thoughts flashed through his eyes and filled his mind as he continued to descend deeper and deeper, seeing despicable evil things that he knew would never come from him.

Death, violence, war, jealousy, false accusations, ignorance, hatred, but in the end – it all lead to pure _fear_.

And Jack was scared. 

So he tightened his grip on his staff, let out a harsh scream and kicked away Pitch and the shadows as best as he could and let his instincts take over. His body burst with icy magic as a familiar form of protection. He closed his eyes, hugging himself as he tried to banish the images from his mind, never wanting to see them again, never wanting to go through what he had just seen countless others because of the Boogeyman.

Jack finally collided with the floor facedown, unexpected as it was after the fall, and tensed as he was placed on his feet by Pitch and his shadows. He quickly brushed them away, hating the slimy feeling they left on his skin.

“Delicious, Jack,” Pitch purred, licking his hands that had come into contact with Jack’s icy skin. “Almost better than a child’s. Almost, but not quite. Your fears have a different flavor.”He eyed the shaken teen, licking his lips. “You really can’t compare, but delicious all the same.”

Jack didn’t notice those leering eyes as he struggled to regain his breath, a little winded as the visions and memory of what just happened left from his mind and his eyes finally adjusted to the lack of light. But he would be okay – he just had to think of positive things. Happy memories that were actually his own, like of his humanity.

But they were hazy, fuzzy, and fading fast. Jack widened his eyes as he struggled to remember the face of his sister, slowly turning to Pitch when he couldn’t do so.

Memories were trickling out of his mind like water, and he wasn’t able to freeze the liquid into ice to stay in his hands. They were slowly leaving his mind, snatched by the greedy shadows that craved the things that made Jack cling to his newly discovered center, and he couldn’t stop them from taking what made him _him_. It was as if he was trapped in that grimy, greasy feeling that made him too sluggish and weak to do anything.

Panicked, he quickly snatched up the best memories he had of when he was Frost - which were of the past few days when he was appointed to be a Guardian and a couple other incidents over the past three centuries –and locked them away in a safe place in the back of his mind that hopefully the shadows couldn't break through. Safely secured to the best of his ability, he scrambled for anything left worth saving, but there wasn’t much. Jack doesn’t really remember much of his life as Jack Frost. But soon enough, most - if not all - of his human memories were lost to oblivion.

There was only one person who had control and power to do such a thing. 

“Give me back my memories of my humanity,” Jack demanded, searching his mind endlessly for any trace of them left and finding nothing. He had them for such a short time; he didn’t want to forget them so quickly. Not yet. Tooth had his teeth - at least he assumes since he no longer had them - but he doubts he could ever get them back from her. He doubts he would see anyone besides Pitch again for a very long time. 

“There was nothing saying that you could take them away from me. I understand that I’m…” Jack choked as he forced himself to say his next words. “Your slave for eternity or whatever." He gagged, getting a bad taste in his mouth but he quickly shoved it aside. "But we never said that you could take away my human memories. Give them back.”

"I wouldn't exactly call you a _slave_ , Jack. As I said in Antarctica, we could be family," Pitch calmly scolded, ignoring the rest of Jack's demands. He smiled at his new charge, understanding and patient. "You're acting like a child with a tantrum."

Jack was taken back. "What -"

"Although," Pitch mused, hand playing with some nightmare sand. "You are forever a teen and will never age again, so it makes sense. And your 'center' is so childish - it was probably what he was aiming for when he chose you. It’s sad, that you – perhaps the most innocent of all the Guardians – had to suffer the most. Doesn't it upset you, Jack? To be robbed of your childhood?"

The conversation shifted so quickly and unexpectedly, Jack found himself answering honestly, "I don't like to think about it. I never thought about my life before the Man in the Moon gave me my name. It was too painful to me. I didn’t think I even had a life before I became Jack Frost."

_But I did! I…_

“Does it hurt, Jack?” Pitch asked sincerely, taking hold of his shoulders and pulling him into a comforting embrace. “It’s okay, it won’t anymore. I won't let it.”

Jack couldn’t bring himself to move, drowning in loneliness. Pitch’s words managed to pull him back to the surface, but Jack wasn’t fooled. He shoved the man away. “Stop playing with me. I want my memories back. Now. They’re not just a bargaining chip you can use against me, they’re something that you had no right to take.”

“You think _I_ took them? Jack, _you_ pushed them away." Pitch wasn't amused anymore, and Jack could have sworn he saw something flash through the man’s golden eyes that he identified as anguish before it was replaced with anger. "Don’t accuse me for something you did yourself. You were shoving pain out, and I simply complied and took it away. I did you a favor. Come along, there’s one final test I want you to take and we're lost enough time as is.” Pitch began to walk away, but Jack refused to leave his spot.

The Winter Spirit placed his feet firmly on the ground, crossing his arms and gripping his staff tightly. “’Favor’ my ass! I’m not going anywhere until you give me back my memories. You had no right!”

Jack didn’t know what happened. One second Pitch was at least five feet of distance in front of him, the next he was lifted a few feet in the air by the man, strangling him and taking the moisture from his skin by the creeping black sand. Jack choked for air, for a moment lost in the drowning sensation that ended his humanity as it flooded his mind as soon as the contact took place. Jack didn’t need to breathe, but his mind didn’t process the fact that he was immortal and didn’t follow certain rules that he had to follow before. He flailed his arms like he would have struggled for the surface for air if the water wasn't so cold, not wanting to be reminded of _this_ memory compared to all the other ones he rediscovered.

“I don’t think you understand what’s going on here, Jack." Pitch tightened his grip, face to face with his new companion. Jack's eyes were glossy as his mind was trapped in the last memory of his human life, but Pitch continued all the same, “You surrendered yourself to me to buy those fools extra time. What you didn’t realize is that it doesn’t matter how much time you give them because they have already lost. I know it, they know it, but it doesn’t matter anymore."

Jack managed to break free from the feeling of dying over and over again as Pitch loosened his grip on his neck, but continued to strangle the teen. While trapped in the memory sensation, Pitch’s words rang clear and stuck in Jack’s mind. He wanted to deny it, but...

"If it’s any compensation," the man continued, "I’m leaving your first believer alone entirely. His friends I could care less about, and they will be mine soon enough. Though children’s fears are the most delicious, I can wait a few years when they will no longer have protection from the Guardians.”

No, they could never lose faith, not when they actually saw them. Seeing is believing, right? And they could never forget seeing the Santa Claus, Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy. Besides, Tooth wouldn’t let them forget something that may have been the highlight of their childhood.

She had the teeth…right?

Jack was pulled out of his thoughts as Pitch ran his fingers of his free hand though his snowy hair, dusting away the snowflakes that he picked up. It was a very weird sensation, but at least Jack was no longer drowning. It was relaxing, peaceful even. He closed his eyes, finding himself easing into the touch, until Pitch spoke again. 

“But you don’t have to worry about those things. Soon enough you’ll even forget about Jamie.”

Jack snapped to attention and widened his eyes, all of his thoughts going to Jamie. Jamie, the little boy from Burgess, who believed in creatures like Bigfoot and refused to give up hope even when everyone else did. Jamie, who was the whole reason he was here with Pitch for. Jamie, who was perhaps the best thing that happened to him after becoming Jack Frost. Jamie - his first believer. 

There was no way he could ever forget about Jamie. Despite whatever Pitch said or would do to him, that was the only thing he refused to believe otherwise.

Pitch chuckled, bringing Jack to attention. “You will, Jack. I can see your disbelief and skepticism in your eyes, but you will. You'll forget all about little Jamie Bennett. But even if you ask me to consume him in his doubts and fears, I won’t because I am a man of my word. But enough about that. There’s only one thing you need to know." Pitch pulled Jack closer to his face, eyes looking directly into each other’s with only inches of space in between.

Pitch whispered, but to Jack the quality of the voice was all wrong with the weight his words held. "You belong to me now. Everything that you own is mine now. Your memories? You gave them to me the moment you gave yourself to me.”

The Boogeyman released his grip and dropped Jack to the floor, falling on his knees. The teen coughed, trying to soothe his throat as air came back to him – the action making him feel human but Jack knew that he could never be again.

“The next test won’t be needed. This was more than enough. As I suspected, you’re not ready, Jack.”Pitch grabbed his wrist and began to drag him down the hall. “But it’s fine. We have all the time in the world. It only delays my official victory.”He chuckled. “Not that I need it to be official, everyone knows I already won.”

Jack’s feet were getting scraps from the sharp stones on the floor. Jack struggled, but was unable to free himself. The Winter Spirit snatched his hand away and coughed, throat sore from the earlier suffocation but wasn’t able to keep silent anymore. Jack’s voice was hoarse as he whispered, “Stop with the mind games. You don’t see me as a person, you see me as a possession. A spoil of war. I know what you want, Pitch. To use me.”

Pitch halted in his tracks. He spun so quickly and they were face to face; Jack became slightly dizzy. Pitch looked appalled. ”Me? _I_ want to use you? Get your facts straight, Jack. I don’t want to use you. We’re so alike you and I. Never being seen, never being believed in even after providing so much to the world. I would never want to hurt you. I never did. Those Guardians, they are the ones who used you.”

Jack couldn’t take it anymore. He covered his ears, crutched over himself as he wasn’t able to move another inch. “Stop lying! Stop…” He lost his voice. 

Pitch placed his hand on Jack’s cheek, brushing away some stray hair over those sapphire eyes. Jack jerked, trying to get out of his touch, but Pitch grabbed his chin. “The truth hurts, doesn’t it, Jack? I know it does, but just think about it. I can take the memory away later. They ignored you for so long, and only now, after…” He made a face as he spat, “After the Man in the Moon told them to fetch you did they make an effort. Don’t confuse that for the love and acceptance you deserve. North? Following orders. Sandman…” He didn’t finish as a flash of pain ran through Jack’s eyes. Pitch continued down the line. “Toothania could care less. To you she’s just another burden she has to keep in line, and everyone knows how many of those she already has. And don’t get me started on the Bunnymund. He was so firm on you not joining their little gang. They needed you, but they didn’t want you. They only contacted you because they were told to by their ‘father’ up there.” He pointed upwards, but there was only the ceiling of dry earth. 

It’s true Jack didn’t know them for long so he couldn’t confirm anything Pitch said, but he couldn’t deny it either. Because they _did_ leave him alone for so long. But Jack didn’t want to believe it. Even if they had known each other for such a short time, the time they spent was real. Their love and acceptance was real.

That was, until they saw him holding a certain tooth box in his hand. 

Jack shook his head and refused to let his eyes water. ‘That’s not true…’ he mouthed, currently unable to speak.

“And, of course, our dear friend who lives on the Moon didn’t say anything to you. Three centuries of silence, Jack. Do I seriously need to spell it out to you?”

Jack tried to push Pitch away with his staff, albeit feebly. Pitch merely pulled him in closer and added, “But it’ll be alright. After all, I’m the only one who knows what you went through. My love and acceptance is _real_ , Jack, unlike theirs.”

Desperate to speak, Jack found that his throat had healed and he had his voice again. “Just leave me alone,” he whispered, finding himself with an empty, hollow feeling inside.

Pitch nodded. “It’s been a long day with many revelations, I understand.” He smiled at Jack, who missed it with his head down and eyes closed.“I’ll bring you back to your room.”

Gently, he took Jack’s hand. Jack couldn't find it in him to shake him off as Pitch led him down the rest of the hallway, and back into the room Jack had first awaken in. His fern pattered frost had yet to melt and still decorated the floor.

Jack was led back to his bed, but he didn’t want to sleep. Not when he was staying with the Nightmare King. He didn’t want any dreams. “No,” he whimpered, but found himself under those thin sheets once more. He shook them off and sat up in the bed, watching Pitch sit down on its edges. Jack shied away from the man, but that didn’t create any distance between him and the particles of sand that crept into his eyes.

Pitch stated, “But I must inform you of your grade before you retire.” 

Jack held his head unsteadily, a drowsy feeling slowly overtaking him. “I… What?” Weakly he willed for the frost on his sleeve to illuminate, and quietly sighed in relief when his hoodie was still a midnight blue.

Pitch grinned as Jack blinked at him tiredly. “Or would you like for me to tell you tomorrow?”

“I…I passed didn’t I?” Jack’s voice was slurred, barely able to stay awake. “I didn’t leave. I made the correct choice. I…” Jack closed his eyes, sleep overtaking his desire to continue conversation. 

Pitch laughed as his sand retracted back to his person, and placed his hand on Jack’s hair again, petting him as he fell into a darkness he was comfortable with. 

“Just passing one segment doesn’t mean you pass overall.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Although I have a basic plot down, I'm writing this as I go along, so if you have anything you'd like to see in particular, please let me know! ^^
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Press Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recap of Previous Chapter: Pitch tests Jack’s loyalty, and takes away his recently discovered memories when Jack doesn’t cooperate.

“Jack, I'm scared.”

Rewind.

“Jack, I’m scared.”

Rewind. 

“Jack, I’m scared.”

Rewind.

“Jack -”

“Stop.”

“Hm?” With a click of a button, the screen paused on a blurry image that Jack couldn’t make out. There were brown eyes, and brown hair, but everything else was indistinguishable.

Was it a girl? Was it a boy? Was it in the forest on a frozen lake? Was it in an alleyway in the middle of the night? There was snow…or was there? Were there others? Was it just the two of them? It was a child; he knew that. That person was important to him, he knew that too. 

But if that were the case - if this person was so important to him - then just who was it?

The Other Jack placed down the remote on the table in front of them, and spoken word soon broke through the low static emitting from the fuzzy screen. “Funny, isn’t it?” He…no. Impossible, Jack refused to acknowledge it as such. It? That’s more fitting. 

It smirked, placing its feet on the table and held its head with its arm on the armrest as laid its own eyes on half-lidded blue eyes captivated on the screen. It continued, “You’ve been on this plane of existence for over three hundred years and yet you didn’t find it important to keep up with modern technology?” 

"Don't be stupid,” Jack snapped. “Of course I know what a television is. What else do kids do when they’re not outside?" He lifted his head from his reflection's lap to glare, with the Other Jack offering a sly smirk as a reply. 

The Other Jack watched him for a few moments longer, staring into those frosty blue crystalline eyes as Jack continued to frown, displeased at the assumption. 

It took Jack a split-second to realize how close he had been to his mirrored self. It was about to place its fingers in his snowy hair, before Jack gasped and shot straight up in his seat. He quickly recoiled and retreated to the other side of the couch, pushing himself as close to the other armrest much as he could. There wasn't much distance between them, it being a two-seater couch, but at least he no longer resting his head on the other's lap. Jack stared, shaking and wide-eyed, at his reflection who stared at him in return with pursed lips.

The Other Jack pouted, unhappy with Jack's almost forgotten reply. "Oh, that's no fun at all. You've never set foot in another's house. You're supposed to be afraid of technology. "

Jack frowned, sidetracked. He always hated when people made assumptions about him. No one had that right. Nobody knew him. "I have been in some kids' houses,” he corrected. “Like…"

Like that child. That important child. That child that may or may not have been on the screen. That child whose name he really should be able to recall as if his life depended on it.

And Jack was almost sure that it might have.

Jack didn't notice, but he had bitten his lip hard enough to draw blood. Feeling something trickling down his lower lip to his chin, he raised his fingers to find it stained red. Confused at the sight of blood, he just stared at the crimson that looked so foreign to him – the fact that it was coming from him was mind-boggling. Because Jack had never been able to bleed, or at least the cuts made from sharp ice never… He never understood it, but now that he knew that he was…

That he was what?

"Oh, Jack, you're so cute," his shadow self cooed, licking its lips as it crawled closer to him while Winter Sprite was lost in thought. It chuckled, reaching over and running its finger along Jack's icy cheek, leaving a warm, tingling sensation. Jack was unable to retreat any further, not willing to leave the couch and be engulfed in total darkness again after what happened last time. 

_Something bad happened - but what?_

It hurt and was too warm to think. Instead, Jack cringed, faintly wondering how long had he been in that lying position and why hadn’t he realized it earlier, before his eyes wandered back to the brown on the screen. Jack stared, fixated, struggling to recall something that should never have been forgotten. 

A snicker filled the otherwise rather silent air. “You’re losing them, aren’t you?” the Other Jack murmured softly, brushing some white hair away behind Jack’s cold ear, warming it with its touch. “You shouldn’t stress yourself over it, it’s much better this way. Don’t fight it.”

The words and actions were lost as Jack was too mesmerized at the screen, struggling to recall who that person so important to him could be. That person he couldn’t dare forget, and yet... 

It was ticked at being ignored. "Hey, I'm talking to you." The screen was shut off, and Jack turned to watch his shadow chuck the remote away from the couch and into the unknown darkness, keeping its gaze on Jack all the while. After a moment, it said, "That's very rude, you know. Ignoring someone who's trying to talk to you." It reached out for him.

Jack immediately turned away, folding into himself. "Yeah, well, I don't want to talk to you,” he mumbled, closing his eyes and sucking on his bleeding lip. The slight taste of copper was overwhelming to someone who doesn’t really taste much besides fresh mint from his snow. Why hasn’t his injury healed yet? 

“Pitch is playing a very sick game, messing with my dreams like this.” He snorted. “Like I need to be talking to a shadow version of myself."

A hand took gentle hold of Jack’s shoulder, and he couldn’t help but tense as that warm sensation filled him. "Of course you need to talk to me,” his shadow crooned into his ear as it snaked its arms along Jack’s own and took a strong hold of his wrists. It pulled Jack closer and back between its pretzel-folded legs. “How else are we going to communicate if not through your dreams where you're already fallen?"

Jack looked into purple eyes that could have been his own, but at the same time couldn’t possibly be. Jack’s blue irises contained brightness and innocence and… While those contained madness and hunger and other such things that Jack didn’t want to name let alone see. 

“Fallen?” he whispered, breath dying as Jack quickly turned his head so he didn’t have to look into what his descent into insanity would look like. His eyes found a window, and he watched the snow – was snow usually that shade of grey? - gently fall from the grey sky and to the already snow-covered ground.

Jack kept his gaze out the window while the Other Jack shifted so that one hand now held both of his wrists. Its other, free hand trailed down Jack’s dark blue sleeve and melted the thin layer of frost, crawling up to his neck and slid to his cheek. Caressing the soft skin, the Other Jack tilted Jack’s head to murmur in his ear, “You’re falling, Jack. And I’m the only one who can catch you.”

Jack shivered, finding himself frozen in his reflection’s searing hold as he burned from the constant touches. He just stared out the window, captivated by the snow as he felt himself growing tired every passing moment. “I'm falling,” he murmured softly, dazed and eyes glassed over.

His wrists were released and fell unceremoniously into his lap like weights while free fingers laced themselves into his hair, making it slightly damp with the melting snowflakes. Pulling him even closer, the Other Jack subtly placed its lips on Jack’s own, sucking on the cut and blood oozing from the unofficial Guardian. Jack couldn’t help but moan as the reflection ravished in the life liquid, too disoriented to realize what was happening. 

It shuddered and whispered, “Jack, your taste…” 

Licking its lips, Jack could feel himself starting to grow even more lightheaded and with a pop, the reflection licked the clean cut once more and closed the wound, leaving the Winter Spirit’s lips swollen and tinted pink. Jack panted, confused and lost in the heat - he was sure he was melting. 

“Into the darkness,” the Other Jack finished, as if nothing happened. It grinned, not that Jack could see it, as it released Jack’s cheek and trailed down his chest to rest on his stomach. “That’s right, Jack, just give in.”

There was a very faint thud sound coming from a distance, from somewhere in the dark. Jack closed his eyes as fingers continued to run through his hair gently, petting him almost. He could feel himself adjusting to the heat for it to start to become pleasant, and that scared him. 

However, he was unable to express his horror as his body relaxed against his will. “That’s not fair,” he mumbled, struggling to open his eyes and regain focus. “You have the advantage here.” 

Thud. 

The fingers in his hair stopped. “Oh?”

“Dr-dreams,” Jack breathed, struggling to speak with lethargy overtaking him. “We’re…we’re in dreams….” He coughed, now struggling to breathe. “Just-Just let me see!”

Thud.

“Fine.” The hand left his head, brushed over eyelids and rested on Jack’s stomach with the other before Jack was able to open his eyes. All of the energy was sucked out of him as he did so, and he was forced to take slow, even breaths as he tried to regain composure. 

Thud.

“Dreams…” Jack tried to look around, but all he could see was darkness. He could still see to a certain extent, but at the same time couldn’t see enough to put his mind at ease. “This isn’t a dream. This is a nightmare,” he said slowly, turning to the Other Jack, who smirked at his answer. 

“Go on,” it encouraged, gesturing with its left hand as it placed its right on Jack’s shoulder, who didn’t notice, as he was trying to figure out what else it wanted him to say. A few more moments of half-confused, half-amused silence caused for the Other Jack to add, “And in order to dream, one must…”

“Sleep.” Jack widened his eyes, feeling more awake with the answer. “Does that -”

The Other Jack held out its hand to silence him. Lowering it, it asked, “When do people sleep, Jack? When the sun is high in the sky?”

Thud.

“Yes!” Jack retorted, smirking himself as he regained his energy. “Some kids don’t come out to play until early afternoon, still in bed until late morning.”

His shadow chuckled, deflating Jack’s happy grin and flipping it to a confused frown. Placing its warm lips _(Can a thing be so warm?)_ to Jack’s cold ear, Jack gasped when he felt a nibble on his icy cartilage. “Oh, Jack, your naiveté is so refreshing,” it purred, voice cracking with giddiness. ”He really did choose the best. And now you’re all mine.”

“I-I don’t belong to anyone!” he exclaimed, squirming a bit. Jack placed his cold hands on the warm ones on his stomach, only for him to quickly recoil from the scorching touch. He squirmed, the Other Jack laughing at the reaction, adjusting its heat as such. Jack yelped as it ranged from a furnace to a warm autumn day, shaking in his place.

Thud.

The Other Jack pulled its lips back, but continued to breathe softly on his ear. Jack shivered at the warmth the breath held, touch finally bearable. “But back to my main point. With sleep comes the darkness. You close your eyes to sleep, don’t you? You shut yourself off from the light. Sleep is a darkness that everyone accepts.

“And with the darkness, comes fear.”

Thud.

Jack finally – _why did it take him so long_ – pulled himself away from that warm cage. He turned to his reflection, but refused to look into its eyes. Its mouth wasn’t an option either, so Jack stared between the eyes, but a tad bit lower because it was too close to the maddening purple. "Is that what you want? Fear?" He rolled his eyes, looking for that ash-grey snowy window only to find it lost in the darkness. “Of course you do. What a stupid question.” Pitch was the king of nightmares; this was his domain. He craved the fear that children emitted. And, in Pitch’s eyes, wasn’t Jack supposedly a child himself? An eternal child… and in this nightmare, Jack had no power.

Thud.

“Perhaps not.” 

Jack tensed when that warm hand was placed, yet again, on his cheek all questions were dropped before he could even open his mouth. The Other Jack chuckled once more, pulling Jack’s chin closer and mouth open, to its lips…

Jack’s eyes widened as his mind flashed back to the last time he was open-kissed on the lips by that-that _thing_. That searing heat, that pain. When something was placed inside him that was neither desired nor understood. He tried to pull back, but was powerless to do so. He closed his eyes and bit his lip as hard as he could, close to reopening his wound (Jack doesn’t like the taste of blood as he so recently discovered) – it was all he could do.

"Jack!" The burning lips pulled back and Jack looked up as a banging off his vision surroundings revealed a wooden door in the far off darkness. There were shouts, and more banging, but Jack couldn't make anything out save his name - though that too was starting to fade.

The source of the faint thuds.

"Fuck." Jack heard his reflection curse under its breath before grabbing Jack and pulling him closer to its body, Jack shuddering under the heat. 

"It's too late, he's mine," it cackled, cradling Jack back into that hot cage disguised as a ‘hug’, while the banging on the door was growing louder and more desperate.

“He’s mine, all mine, and you can’t undo what has been done,” the Other Jack laughed, insanity seeping into its voice. “This child is mine.”

The banging continued, not as faint as before but not loud enough to demand attention. Jack couldn't help but close his eyes, the heat making him unbearably drowsy. 

"I...I thought..." He fell silent.

Fingers were playing in his hair again. Making him docile. "What did you think, Jack?" his shadow asked softly, no longer angry at whatever was calling his name. 

Jack was breathless. This heat was no longer pleasant - it was killing him. He looked into those purple eyes, ready to plead for cooler temperatures, but the words died on his lips. They no longer held madness. Instead, they were twinkling with concern and affection. 

For him? 

In those purple, golden-sprinkled eyes, Jack could see that he was the only thing that mattered. In those eyes, Jack came first and everything – if there was even anything else – came second.

No one…no one ever looked at him like that before. Not from Sandy, not from North, not from Bunny or Tooth. Not even Pitch. 

There was this one person, this one person that came close. This one person who looked up to Jack like he was a hero – but just the fact that he was even able to see him…

That…that child he’d forgotten.

Jack pushed those thoughts away. Now wasn’t the time. It was too warm to think about that. "I thought...” He swallowed, mouth uncomfortably dry. What he wouldn’t give to suck on some ice right now. “I thought I told Pitch to stop playing with the mind games." 

The banging had faded away.

The Other Jack tilted…its head. “Mind games?” It… Wait. He? No it can hold such emotion, especially over him. He grinned. “I wanna play.” He giggled as he took hold of Jack’s wrist and held him by the waist as he fiddled with that remote from earlier.

“Hey, Jack,” he called, turning his head. Jack followed his line of sight and looked back to the screen as it turned back on. Jack widened his eyes in horror but couldn’t look away as that brown slowly came back into hazy focus. 

Looking back into those purple eyes that only held amusement at his horror, Jack choked out, “Wh-what?”

The Other Jack grinned madly. “Do you remember who this is?”

“No!”

Click.

“Please don’t!”

“Jack, I’m scared.” Rewind. “Jack, I’m scared.” Rewind. “Jack, I’m scared.” 

Jack whimpered, shutting his eyes and covering his ears with his hands. Quivering, he folded into himself, which his reflection carefully maneuvered for the Immortal teen to bury his head in that warm chest.

He placed his hands in his hair again. Cackling all the while, the Other Jack added seriously, “If you don’t it’s okay, it’s better that way.” 

No. 

Jack knew – needed to know, to _remember_ – who this was. And he did. He really did. It was there, all the way in the back of his mind, trapped shut for safekeeping _(from what?)_. He knew who this was.

Desperately tuning out the voice emitting from the screen and ignoring the unnerving feeling he got as the Other Jack continued to giggle softly with fingers still in his hair, Jack closed his eyes and concentrated. 

He knew this child - this child who meant the world to him because he was the first person to see, to believe, in him. This child, who was the highlight of his existence as Jack Frost. 

Wait - hang on. That statement confused him. His existence as Jack Frost? Was there ever a before?

Jack couldn’t say for sure. 

Regardless, there was nothing worth remembering when he had first risen from the lake all those years ago. 

It’s not that there was nothing to remember – there was nothing he wanted to remember. Nothing was retained because that life had been harsh and lonely. There were only bad times (cold, cold, cold) – like that time he tried to reach out (an act for attention, an act of desperation, and act to be _noticed_ ) to Bunnymund. 

_“Been a long time. Blizzard of ‘68, I believe? Easter Sunday, wasn't it?”_

Like that didn’t go and bite him back. If anything, he only managed to push the Keeper of Easter even further away – creating a petty grudge between the two (that was clearly one-sided) for a simple misunderstanding. 

_“Bunny? You're not still mad about that... are ya?”_

_“Yes.”_

It’s not like Jack meant to freeze those eggs the Australian Rabbit (No, Bunnymund was a special type of rabbit – rabbits aren’t that tall but no, what would Jack know, no one tells him anything.) had carefully hidden for the Easter Sunday egg hunts. 

_“Hey, guys, wait up! Are you guys coming to the egg hunt Sunday?”_

It was just…

_“Wow, Easter Bunny is real.”_

Just…

_"Santa Claus? The Easter Bunny? Sandman...The Tooth Fairy! I knew you’d come!"_

A simple…

_"Okay, look, you and I are obviously at what they call a crossroads, so here’s what’s gonna happen: If it wasn’t a dream and if you are real, then you have to prove it. Like right now."_

Misunderstanding…  
￼  
 _"I’ve believed in you for a long time, okay? Like my whole life in fact. So you kinda owe me now. You don't have to do much, just a little sign so I know. Anything… Anything at all."_

_“Snow? Jack Frost?”_

_“Jack Frost.”_

"Jamie!" Jack rasped, exclaiming the name as if it were his dying breath. He pushed himself away from the faintly warm touch, holding himself and trembling. "It's Jamie, Jamie..." He placed his hand to his forehead as his eyes widened, tears threatening to leak out. "Oh moon, no..."

_How could I have almost forgotten?_

The Other Jack laughed, and only now did Jack realize that he was crying as he turned back to that blurry screen of brown. Taking advantage of his distracted state, the Other Jack took hold of his chin and kissed Jack chastely on the lips - Jack ignoring the raging fire it caused as his tears cooled it slightly - and ran his fingers down the Winter Sprite's torso. Jack squirmed under his touch, feeling very warm and breathless as he waited for the image to clear – and confirm his suspicions.

The image growing more and more distorted, Jack frowned as fatigue started to seep into him. Closing his eyes, the Other Jack leaned into his ear and whispered, "Are you sure about that?"

=0=0=0=0=0=0=0=0=

Jack woke with a gasp, clutching his head as if in pain as he went through the memories he still had left.

There was the time when he created a few ice sculptures for an elderly couple walking in the wintery woods. The time he helped freeze a lake so it would be thick enough to support the skaters’ weights. The time he helped save a few lives by making it too cold for them to jump, as well as alerting a few authorities with detours he created. 

Then there were the times he caused the accidents, the times when his cold actually froze to death instead of providing a sense of relief. The times when he helped freeze over the ice when someone had fallen in, trapping them inside where their friends can’t reach them in time. The time when he froze those campers in the woods, and prevented children from finding their home before nightfall.

Wait. No… no, those were not true. He never did those things. He could never do those things. He didn’t… Did he?

Jack wanted to scream; Pitch obviously left some shadows in his mind to help his occasional nightmarish thoughts become memories. 

Then again, the memories were always hazy at most; who’s to say what’s real or not?

“Failure.”

“I’m a failure,” Jack whispered, more to himself than to the voice in the room. “No hope of redemption, not worth it, doesn’t deserve a second chance.”

“It’s quite alright, Jack. I will be willing to give it to you.”

“No, it’s not… Wait. Give me what?” Jack looked up, realizing that Pitch was there, and that he was speaking to the man who had him willingly stay with him. Using the term ‘willingly’ lightly.

“A second chance.” A pause, soon followed with a grin. “It’s what you always wanted, isn’t it? Ever wanted.”

Jack widened his eyes.

Pitch grinned wickedly. “Oh, I know, Jack.” He caressed the shadows, and Jack could have sworn that a chill, a chill he’s not comfortable with, went through him. “I know everything about you,” he said, taking a seat on Jack’s cool bed.

Jack didn’t know how to reply. He didn’t know how to cope with that information. Pitch grinned wider as he sniffed Jack’s fear, fear of him knowing more about him than he probably knew himself.

Jack laughed nervously, trying to cope as best as he could. “Same can’t be said for you. Why don’t you tell me about yourself?”

Pitch chuckled. “All in due time, my boy. All in due time. Now,” he held out his hand as he moved off the bed. “Why don't you come with me?”

Hesitantly, Jack got up to take it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos! Special thanks to TDaL, Rahar_Moonfire, DeeJay Gomie, MiM, Sunsnitch51, aceDetective, Joey, anony., and MissyZ for commenting! And extra thanks to remo-shagwell for asking me on tumblr! 
> 
> And thank you for reading!


	4. Parade of Liars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recap of last chapter: Jack’s memories are hazy at most, and that dark double of his is not helping. Pitch is willing to give Jack what he's always wanted, information and a second chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I had difficulty with this. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, it’s all thanks to you that I was able to kick myself and finally finish this.

Not that he was willing to admit it, but Jack felt much safer holding Pitch's hand as the Boogeyman led him down another dim corridor. This dark cave of his was more of a maze than anything else. They stayed silent for a while, Jack contemplating on everything that Pitch said to him.

They were leisurely walking at this point when Jack said, "You know, I could say the same about you."

Pitch turned to him. "I beg your pardon?"

Jack frowned. "Cute. You know what I mean."

Pitch shrugged. "I'm sorry to say that I don't, Jack."

"The whole Guardians using me thing. The fact that they never approached me until you showed up. In their defense... you never approached me either."

Pitch was about to retort, but when Jack continued speaking let him finish. Jack slowly removed his hand from Pitch's. "Only because I was the Guardians' ... 'trump card' ..." He used air quotes and fell silent.

Pitch waited a few moments, and Jack looked away from those amused eyes - the only thing with expression on that mask called a face. "Anything else you care to add, Jack?"

"It was only when I was chosen..." It fell on him like a ton of bricks. Jack backed up slowly, eyes startled in realization. "You... you just want to use me as well, don't you?" He lowered his voice and hugged himself. "'What goes better than cold and dark?' Rule side by side? Don't make me laugh. I was a threat to you. Since I wouldn't give you my powers, you wanted me out of the way."

Pitch had something about selective hearing. "If I wanted to use you, Jack, I would have been direct about it. If you think about it, the Guardians are manipulating you."

Jack was flabbergasted. "What? You... what? As are you!"

Pitch smiled. "Not at all, I've never lied to you."

"Of course you have! You..."

Pitch eyed Jack carefully. "Tell me when, Jack. Tell me, when exactly did I lie to you?"

Jack thought long and hard.

Jack said slowly, "You said that the Guardians would never accept me." Sure Pitch teased him when they first met, and didn't take him seriously. And again, when he distracted him and ruined Easter.

"And when you came back from your task, they abandoned you did they not?"

_We should never have trusted you!_

But he never lied.

Jack fell silent.

Pitch pat Jack on the back. "I'm just looking out for you, Jack. I did mean it when I said I wanted to be family."

"Family..." Something that Jack has always wanted. Something he thought he had for just a brief moment with the Guardians. Something... he could have with Pitch.

Pitch gently took back Jack's hand and continued to lead him down the dark corridor. "Stop defending them, Jack," he said. "They don't deserve it. Especially from you of all people."

They fell into silence.

"They never lied to me either," Jack whispered, causing for Pitch to stop. Gaining more confidence, Jack raised his voice. "The Guardians never lied to me."

Pitch turned to Jack with a pitiful look on his face.

Jack glared; he didn't want Pitch's pity. "Of course not! They wouldn't lie to me. That's like... against their nature or something."

Pitch replied, "The Man in the Moon took away your memory for a reason, Jack. Toothania never gave them to you, even though she knew you had a life before Jack Frost. Why do you think that is?"

"She didn't know!" Jack defended.

"Didn't know? Or was told to never let you know?"

"Didn't know!" Jack continued to defend his new friend.

Pitch tsked. "Ahh, but how do you know?"

Jack retorted, "How do  _you_?"

Pitch just laughed. "I'm just speculating and rationalizing, Jack. Trying to open your eyes and show you that all that glitters is not gold."

"I know that," Jack muttered, going through their conversation in his head. Pitch made very valid points, but he couldn't just lose hope. Bunny would be disappointed in him.

Then again, he already was, wasn't he?

Jack had to pause; it was starting to get hot. "Where are we going?" he asked, reluctant to step forward. There was a reason he didn't bring snow to warm places. He couldn't handle the warm temperatures. It was something he discovered early on when he first started as Jack Frost. He prospers in the cold, and flounders in the hot.

Pitch tightened his hold on Jack's hand. "Just follow me."

"Pitch, I really can't." Jack breathed heavily, fanning himself. He wanted to fall to the floor, run away from the heat. Anything to get away. He was starting to become delirious. He couldn't figure out which way was up and which way was down, what he was doing, everything was becoming a blur.

The only comforting thing was Pitch's hand, cool to the touch.

Jack shook his head and stopped walking. "It's too hot. I don't do hot. Frost, cold, ice, that's what makes me, well, me."

Pitch looked to Jack with a warm smile on his face. "I believe in you, Jack. You can do this."

Jack looked up to Pitch, wide-eyed. "Really?" he whispered, looking down with a small smile on his face.

Pitch still had that smile on his face. "Really."

Jack squeezed Pitch's hand, bringing it close to his face. "Thank you."

He then proceeded to pass out.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The wind in the trees was carrying a lovely tune that Jack woke to, a soft melody that seemed to echo throughout the forest. It was snowing, a light powered snow that fell gently from the sky to Jack's open palm. He slowly picked himself off the ground. Up above him was a grey sky, covered with clouds and the tips of evergreen trees. He embraced the cold, reveled in its presence, and only broke out of his stupor when he heard someone calling his name.

"Jack?"

Jack froze in his tracks, the spell of peace broken. He turned towards the voice, realizing that it was now deathly quiet in the forest. He didn't realize how soothing the music was until it was replaced with silence.

"Who's there?" he called out, finding himself dreading whatever answer he may get.

The wind picked up the music again, but instead of being everywhere, it was distant. Jack listened carefully to find the source, and slowly made his way toward it.

Jack didn't know how long he was walking, maneuvering on his feet through the trees. The music got louder and louder, and soon Jack found himself in a clearing of a field of snow and a stump at the center. On the stump was… himself, but with brown hair. Eyes closed, he was humming the melody that Jack had followed to get there. He looked so warm.

Jack stared at this other self for a few moments before making his way towards him. With a crinkle of snow, the music stopped once again. Jack found himself staring into brown eyes on a face that was exactly his own with opposite expressions. Confused frown on his own face, smile of relief on the other.

"Jack," the warm Jack whispered, quickly getting up and embracing Jack into a hug. "I'm so glad you were able to find me."

"Who are you?" Jack asked, not hugging back, but not trying to escape either.

The warm Jack released him, a warm smile still on his face. "I'm you. Well, the human side of you. Call me Jackson, your human name."

Jack was confused. "I was… human?"

Jackson frowned. "Oh no, it's starting." He looked towards the trees, as if checking to see if the coast was clear, before he pulled Jack close.

"Listen to me very carefully, we don't have much time. Pitch isn't your enemy." Jack opened his mouth to interrupt, but Jackson covered his mouth. "No interruptions! Sorry, we just don't have the time. They are coming, and I need to hide before they can find me. If they find me, then we're in deep trouble.

"As I was saying, Pitch isn't your enemy. Your enemy is the Shadows. The Shadows in the darkness consumed Pitch and soon it will consume you. You need to find the part of Pitch that is locked inside, the side that fought for good before the darkness took over."

The sky was turning black, and the trees were starting to disappear. "And how am I supposed to do that?" Jack asked, getting sleepy.

"Stay with him, help him find the person he used to be. You're the only one who could do this, Jack. It's one of the reasons I chose you."

Jack could feel himself slipping away, but he couldn't leave just yet. "What do you mean,  _you_  chose me?"

There was a twinkle in Jackson's eye as he looked toward the sky, the moon looming above them. The darkness was about to cover the moon, and Jackson seemed to be fading away.

"I'll be on the run for as long as I can, but until then." Jackson kissed Jack's forehead. "I'll be watching over you, Jack."

Jackson disappeared and Jack fell to the ground, eyes barely open. He could hear footsteps so he opened his eyes as much as he could to see the Other Jack looking pissed, but gave a sinister grin as he gently picked Jack up from the ground before looking up towards the sky.

"He's mine now; he gave himself to me," Other Jack said to the sky. "And there's nothing you can do about it."

Those were the last words Jack heard before he succumbed to the darkness of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The melody being played in the forest is Naryu’s Song from Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages. 
> 
> Hope this chapter was worth the wait!
> 
> Thanks for reading, and let me know what you think!


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